She was not very young but not old too. she was 45, but if you look at her she looks nowhere near it !!! bright eyes, unique persona, that confidence in her eyes , she seems a warrior to me , a warrior fighting with entire world !!!!! and world was indeed against her !!!!
it was just another day and as usual a boring day of my life , i step out of home in hopes of little different day ! i am going to meet this friend of mine, who is a true sweetheart and most caring friend of mine, but has this one habit which is so annoying to me , whatever she talks or does she has to link it up to marriage and me being pretty anti marriage its real irritating !! i mean common MARRIAGE the so called Universal Institution is not the end of life ... [anyways , let me get back to story ---- as i said am anti marriage i start anywhere with my obsession against marriage , excuse me for that] with that i was really in weird state of mind, that i'll have to get myself tucked in silly argument about marriage huh !!
we are suppose to meet at local bus stop and then to some shop to hog like jerks , i reach early as usual , and there is this lady waiting on the bus stop , i stab my feet with impatience and anger rushing through my veins , she turns to me and smiles, i smile back . i am not generally into those short sweet connections with people, but when it comes to few people who intrigues me i cant help smiling , her eyes had something that made me stare at her ,[ now that was weird, i was just 20 year old female and was caught in situation where was staring at this female may be in her late thirties.] phone rings and i take breath of relief , it was my friend i knew what she would say ! sigh !
"hey am so sorry, am running late,"
expected !!
"as usual miss, so how much am suppose to wait?"
not less than 20 minutes for sure ,,
" not much yaar , you know i am just cooking and then i will just feed up the dog and will leave in few minutes"
this was irritating ,,
"why dont you give me proper timings , u could have called me late if u had work! ?"
she now replies with excitement ,,
"forgive me dear, u see am just training myself to be a nice wife and take care of family"
that was it
"ohh please ,,, dont start with that marriage obsession again , its so annoying okay, marriage marriage marriage why dont u just get yourself married right away"
"Sorry dear ,, am sorry ,, "
what sense does it make apologizing anyways !!!
"Its okay ,, u just put the phone down, continue preparing yourself for marriage and i shall be waiting like an idiot for next hour for sure ,,, "
she speaks with sound that wanted to cry "I am sorry dear. i'll make it fast"
"just put the phone down ,, and yes Go To Hell ,, ohh no ,, Go Get Married huh !!! "
hung up ,, that was it ,, she made my blood pressure rise in a span , how can be people so foolish and desperate !!! ahh , i hope i hope i just dont cry with anger , i hate when tear takes over anger !!!!!!
"you there little girl ,, !!!! seem to hate marriages too much ? take it easy , sit " smiles and says that female who was also waiting on bus stop says breaking all the silence after that call and frustration
"ummm ... !!!! no i am fine thanks ,, i am sorry if i was too loud" i try to smile
" no dont worry about that ,,, tell me what is it that makes you hate marriages so much ? i can really make sense of it from the way you spoke ,, its none of my business but i am really curious , you are just a small girl may be in college years then what is it"
her voice was indeed soothing , i hated talking about this but she was not talking like others who just took stand against me without even listening to me , she actually wanted to know why !!!! hmmmm let me just speak up , anyways my anger will kill me if i dont .
" Its not that i hate it am just pretty against it"
"and may i know , why is that little miss? " smiles she
"ummmm its hard to explain as even i dont know clearly , its not like i dont like marriages and having person to live great life with but you know its so blown out of proportion , marriages has become compulsory ,, and its like acceptance of your status from society, you know there is no respect for each other there is just sense of doing ritual ,, duty and all for status !!! its annoying"
may be i had spoke too much but that lady had look in her eyes , which was little surprised but not so shocking , she speaks with more calming voice now , " how old are you ? 20 - 21 ? " head nod "20" "Hmmmmm !!!" she continues " see you are too young an i dont know how these thoughts have captured you, but i had same thinking once , but it all changes with time " she smiles ,, but this time there wasnt spark in her eyes .
" nooo !!!! see this is what i dont want , i know i'll be getting married and living life , but that is not the life i want , i want to be single not totally alone though , want to adopt kid an earn and live , no responsibilities n all trapped in what i dont want to be " no no dont cry control on self girl you have to !!!!
" hmmmm , i was 22 and i was heartbroken" starts she with little more intensity in her voice " i had made myself so strong to never fall for love again , and develop this thinking of staying alone "
that was quite sad " ohhh hmmm , i understand that, that is really sad ,, and closing self in shell after all this is so obvious but my thinking has no such reasons really "
she speaks now ,,with more pain ,, " hmm i know , but thing is i just want to tell you what you thinking is not wrong ,, but you know staying alone in this world is too difficult much more difficult than you have ever imagined," i wanted to respond but she was so intense i wanted to listen to her .. !!!! " i was 22 as i said and i was so keen on living alone life on my own terms, my father was finding suitable partner for me , i forced him to let me just live the way i wanted ,, no marriage he agreed ,, he felt that is all he could do as my mother was missing from my life , he wanted to do as much as he could , my dad was strong support ,, i turned 30 and i was single , people started making these talks and started torturing my father with all those emotional sayings, he was thank god man who never cared for society , it hurt me though !! and he died when i was 31 ,, wherever i go people talks nasty , the reason as they say for me not getting married is cause i have not a great character , i am slut or a bitch or even something worse than that !!! i am 45 now ,, and still fighting that am not a bitch or slut but just a woman who wants to live alone ,, it doesnt seem to work u see , it never will "
i was stunned ,, before i could respond i saw bus approaching ,, and she stood up ,, " just know you are right ,, but its not easy ,, its just not easy ,, " she smiles ,, " have a good life and start loving it if u can marriages are bad but they give u status in society ,, byeee take care , God bless you"
she rose up and walked in the bus ,, turned back and smiled ,,
what was that ,,, was that really difficult ,, this is not done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are Marriages so mandatory ? more than the life of one ??
i wait my friend arrives we hang out ,, but question still runs in my head , really marriages are end of the life ??? really !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was just another day and as usual a boring day of my life , i step out of home in hopes of little different day ! i am going to meet this friend of mine, who is a true sweetheart and most caring friend of mine, but has this one habit which is so annoying to me , whatever she talks or does she has to link it up to marriage and me being pretty anti marriage its real irritating !! i mean common MARRIAGE the so called Universal Institution is not the end of life ... [anyways , let me get back to story ---- as i said am anti marriage i start anywhere with my obsession against marriage , excuse me for that] with that i was really in weird state of mind, that i'll have to get myself tucked in silly argument about marriage huh !!
we are suppose to meet at local bus stop and then to some shop to hog like jerks , i reach early as usual , and there is this lady waiting on the bus stop , i stab my feet with impatience and anger rushing through my veins , she turns to me and smiles, i smile back . i am not generally into those short sweet connections with people, but when it comes to few people who intrigues me i cant help smiling , her eyes had something that made me stare at her ,[ now that was weird, i was just 20 year old female and was caught in situation where was staring at this female may be in her late thirties.] phone rings and i take breath of relief , it was my friend i knew what she would say ! sigh !
"hey am so sorry, am running late,"
expected !!
"as usual miss, so how much am suppose to wait?"
not less than 20 minutes for sure ,,
" not much yaar , you know i am just cooking and then i will just feed up the dog and will leave in few minutes"
this was irritating ,,
"why dont you give me proper timings , u could have called me late if u had work! ?"
she now replies with excitement ,,
"forgive me dear, u see am just training myself to be a nice wife and take care of family"
that was it
"ohh please ,,, dont start with that marriage obsession again , its so annoying okay, marriage marriage marriage why dont u just get yourself married right away"
"Sorry dear ,, am sorry ,, "
what sense does it make apologizing anyways !!!
"Its okay ,, u just put the phone down, continue preparing yourself for marriage and i shall be waiting like an idiot for next hour for sure ,,, "
she speaks with sound that wanted to cry "I am sorry dear. i'll make it fast"
"just put the phone down ,, and yes Go To Hell ,, ohh no ,, Go Get Married huh !!! "
hung up ,, that was it ,, she made my blood pressure rise in a span , how can be people so foolish and desperate !!! ahh , i hope i hope i just dont cry with anger , i hate when tear takes over anger !!!!!!
"you there little girl ,, !!!! seem to hate marriages too much ? take it easy , sit " smiles and says that female who was also waiting on bus stop says breaking all the silence after that call and frustration
"ummm ... !!!! no i am fine thanks ,, i am sorry if i was too loud" i try to smile
" no dont worry about that ,,, tell me what is it that makes you hate marriages so much ? i can really make sense of it from the way you spoke ,, its none of my business but i am really curious , you are just a small girl may be in college years then what is it"
her voice was indeed soothing , i hated talking about this but she was not talking like others who just took stand against me without even listening to me , she actually wanted to know why !!!! hmmmm let me just speak up , anyways my anger will kill me if i dont .
" Its not that i hate it am just pretty against it"
"and may i know , why is that little miss? " smiles she
"ummmm its hard to explain as even i dont know clearly , its not like i dont like marriages and having person to live great life with but you know its so blown out of proportion , marriages has become compulsory ,, and its like acceptance of your status from society, you know there is no respect for each other there is just sense of doing ritual ,, duty and all for status !!! its annoying"
may be i had spoke too much but that lady had look in her eyes , which was little surprised but not so shocking , she speaks with more calming voice now , " how old are you ? 20 - 21 ? " head nod "20" "Hmmmmm !!!" she continues " see you are too young an i dont know how these thoughts have captured you, but i had same thinking once , but it all changes with time " she smiles ,, but this time there wasnt spark in her eyes .
" nooo !!!! see this is what i dont want , i know i'll be getting married and living life , but that is not the life i want , i want to be single not totally alone though , want to adopt kid an earn and live , no responsibilities n all trapped in what i dont want to be " no no dont cry control on self girl you have to !!!!
" hmmmm , i was 22 and i was heartbroken" starts she with little more intensity in her voice " i had made myself so strong to never fall for love again , and develop this thinking of staying alone "
that was quite sad " ohhh hmmm , i understand that, that is really sad ,, and closing self in shell after all this is so obvious but my thinking has no such reasons really "
she speaks now ,,with more pain ,, " hmm i know , but thing is i just want to tell you what you thinking is not wrong ,, but you know staying alone in this world is too difficult much more difficult than you have ever imagined," i wanted to respond but she was so intense i wanted to listen to her .. !!!! " i was 22 as i said and i was so keen on living alone life on my own terms, my father was finding suitable partner for me , i forced him to let me just live the way i wanted ,, no marriage he agreed ,, he felt that is all he could do as my mother was missing from my life , he wanted to do as much as he could , my dad was strong support ,, i turned 30 and i was single , people started making these talks and started torturing my father with all those emotional sayings, he was thank god man who never cared for society , it hurt me though !! and he died when i was 31 ,, wherever i go people talks nasty , the reason as they say for me not getting married is cause i have not a great character , i am slut or a bitch or even something worse than that !!! i am 45 now ,, and still fighting that am not a bitch or slut but just a woman who wants to live alone ,, it doesnt seem to work u see , it never will "
i was stunned ,, before i could respond i saw bus approaching ,, and she stood up ,, " just know you are right ,, but its not easy ,, its just not easy ,, " she smiles ,, " have a good life and start loving it if u can marriages are bad but they give u status in society ,, byeee take care , God bless you"
she rose up and walked in the bus ,, turned back and smiled ,,
what was that ,,, was that really difficult ,, this is not done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are Marriages so mandatory ? more than the life of one ??
i wait my friend arrives we hang out ,, but question still runs in my head , really marriages are end of the life ??? really !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was something different I must say. nicely written.
ReplyDelete& is that what really happened to u? if yes, I have lot more to tell u than that woman.
thanks :) ,, no well that hasn't actually happened!!!! its mere a fictional scene, and i would definitely want your views on it.
ReplyDelete