Best Left Unsaid ;)

I have been thinking lately how important it is to talk your heart out, So, Here i am , trapped in so called thoughts again ...

" if you are hurt say it , if you are happy dance with cheer , if you are angry show it , if you love someone just say it ,, never regret, never keep things buried down in heart"

Simple rules as they say to live a life !!!!!!!
well is it that easy?  at least to me it never seemed.
reasons were endless ,,..
first and best I was dead darn Introvert [well minus when am at home or with my jerks]
second , anxieties before i could speak like those damn ass oops i meant excellent speakers, i was trapped down with thousands of thoughts making me much more anxious 
third , to me my views my opinions were thing to keep locked safe and not to showcase them in market , for a price named Appreciation.
      never mind , my wish however i act , but people have one annoying habit and it always was disturbing to me , if you are shut means either 
1. you are too arrogant 2. you are dumbo types 3. you were a door mate types , easy to walk on

Well i was one of those rude , arrogant chick to some , and to some i was a real door mate !!

and if you ask me really i had crossed that stage of feeling oh so bad or angry on it !! cause i had worshiped the motto by now ,, "Some Things Were Really Best Left Unsaid!! " 

With Everything Have Nothing ... !!! [lonely housewife]

With Everything ,,,, Have Nothing ,......!!!!!!!

Lonely Road !! Lonely Life !!

 There is a hole in my heart that no one can fill, 
it seems like  i was born to make everyone happy , 
bring the best out of them , give give and give , 
cry the pain inside , let nothing come outside,
see the people cheer , see the children smile ,
colors and life , live and smile , 
walk out everyday , say hello to the world , 
let the world and life be in my arms clutched,
laugh loud and smile as if nothing wrong , 
and people say , "oh you're so strong" !!
i smile ,, but heart inside screams and cries ,, 

all i can do is sit and things that might have happened 

only when i come back home ,, 
only when am coming to myself ,, 
i know i know what is true,, 
the pain rise and i need to cry ,,, 
the man who loves me looks up to me , 
"hey whats wrong baby", the embrace weakens me !!
and that's when my baby comes running ,
"Mommy i missed you , where have you been"
the pain fades but heart skips in pain that is deep ,, 
i take her in my arms , "mommy is here baby girl"
lets eat and get back to your homework , 
the man beside me puts his arm on shoulder , 
says its okay dont loose now ,, 

we finish our food, and i sing to my baby ,, 
she sleeps in my lap , and i feel so clingy , 
i put her on her bed , stand in the balcony 
why is it has to be ,, why is it has to be ,, 
the man comes and kiss me lightly ,, 
dont think much ,, you need sleep , 
yes i nod ,, yes i need and you need it to ,, 
lights off ,, he makes me sleep ,, 
with his cuddles and kisses,, 
he sleeps by my side only ,, 
to make me realize am not lonely ,, 

he is sound asleep ,, and its past midnight ,, 
i lie awake , place seems so strange , 
everything was fine , but there was something aahhh 
time that my companion Mr. Pain arrives ,
tears flows ,, and throats aches , 
this is so painful , am i passing out 
i cry cry and cry ,, heart aches ,, 
the missing part in me ,, screams 
everything stops , but time keeps running ,
i fall asleep with tears in my eyes ,, 
with pain in my heart , 

"honey you are late , 
drop baby girl to her school too"
hand them their belongings ,, 
in the race with the time ,, 
kiss them good byee ,, and say come home soon ,, 
smile on my face ,, tears in my eyes ,, 
this is the life , this is the life :) 

may be world won't understand and 
somehow i don't care ,, 
lets get back to the work , 
i have family to look for , 
tear plot itself on my cheek again ,, 
and i smile ,,, to myself ,, 
with everything have nothing ,, 
this is My Life ........... !!!!!! 

This Is My Life ......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!